the simplicity

of having something
before you realize just
how much you want it


does this mean it’s over?

I used to see us standing there

a double of you and a double of me

in the future that was always coming but never came

now I see nothing, behind or in front

there are no doubles and there is no us

and even your shadow (he held on so long)

dissolved in my hand in the sun


He had a mole on his back, directly in between his shoulder blades. It was a deep red-brown, the color of his freckles, the color of mine, and it stood out against his skin whether it was pale or tanned. It was small as far as moles go, hardly bigger than a big freckle, but I noticed it, I knew it, I loved it.

He was only a friend but I can only imagine, if he had been more, how much more I would have loved it.