Liberdade

a shallow impression
made on a surface both more and less pliable
than it used to be
than it should have been
smooth until the first crack of sunlight

other tools, they hammer, they bruise
but this shallow pool remains
the only indentation, sole crater on the moon
visible only to the touch and
never in the dark

an elbow on my leg
green eyes looking up
his skin is warm from a sun somewhere
and mine is cool from the sea
shaking with inevitability and the thought of altering course
a sticky thought, dipped in the rum
we found in the dinghy
the bright morning light dripping into the cracks, widening, deepening

The Who on a loop, seeking, seeking
a small indentation, salt water rushing in
too deep to stand in but not enough to sink
if only I knew how to float

there I am
lying in the rocking waves
with nothing but a boat
and a shallow impression filled with the sea

this little something

this little something

just sailed away; anything

meant to be will stay

now, to

forget and stay sane

or to remember and ache

that is the question 

warm skin

sometimes I forget

what it feels like

not you

if no one was dishonest

then everyone would cry

right in the bright sunlight because

there’d be no place to hide

and who wants that?

what have I done?

you tried to burn it and

burn it you did but

it didn’t disappear

it only dissipated

fire to ash, fell to the earth

but smoke to air, now it’s everywhere

you thought this was better

you thought this would work

fire to ash and smoke to air

but now it’s everywhere you look

and you can’t even see it.

consumed

such a large amount
of me I’ve spent on something
as tiny as you

how much easier it is

to rightly fall for
someone wrong than to wrongly
fall for someone right

the power

all of it in me

all of it over me

here to stay, here in my hands

and here I still am

giving it all away

(but maybe not only)

don’t try to make me

understand; I only want

it because I don’t

put down the phone

hope makes things shiny
but it doesn’t make them real
I should know by now

all

the pretty daydreams

all the maybes, all the hope

I take it all back

laughable

if only you knew
how ridiculously wrong
you are about me

at best

I bet you find this

mildly entertaining

a neat waste of time

at worst

while I’m over here

toying with the idea

of falling in love

so soon

and I’ve already

given you the power to

make me feel so small

one of many

it’s a splinter of some sort

and it’s an apt punishment 

watching the sailboats

and you realize

halfway through the play pretend

you wish it was real 

 

queen of haste

pounding on the door
before deciding whether
I really want in

because I do

ever think about
that forest and those stars and
your cheek next to mine?

down on the west coast

the shirt off your back
in exchange for my number
can’t argue with that

(but it isn’t)

something worth the fight
for the sake of convenience
I wish it was you

not by you

what did you expect?

to lure me in and keep me?

I’m not to be kept.

---

next

fanciful notions

broken into something real

we won’t survive this

---

the hammer

before you swung it
did you see something fragile
waiting to be smashed?
 

---

that look

it got me thinking
a place with a face like yours
I could get used to
 

---

who would’ve thought?

and to think that you’re
falling asleep with my face
behind your eyelids
 

---

teach me

starting something new

can bring out all the smiles

you forgot you had

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